what if?
by Fluffy the chicken
Summary: ""If you'd been taken by the Capitol, and hijacked, and tried to kill Peeta, is this the way he would be treating you?" demands Haymitch. i fall silent. it isn't how he would be treating me at all. he would be trying to get me back at all cost." what if katniss, not peeta, was taken to the capitol to be tortured and hijacked? would Peeta really try to get her back at all costs?
1. Chapter 1

**Hi again. So I've been thinking about writing this for a long time and finally decided to do it, but I don't really know if I should continue. So, at the end of the chapter, please tell me what you thought and weather or not I should keep writing. And If I do continue, just thought you should know that im going to do Peeta's POV, then for chapter two, im going to do Katniss' POV (and the same pattern for most of the story). ALSO, this chapter is starting right after Katniss gets attacked by Joanna and finds Beete. **

**Shout out: I don't own anything, only Suzanne Collins does **

**I apologize for my HORRIBLE grammar and spelling skills, so don't hate me if you see a bunch of mistakes. **

Peeta's POV

I can feel my heart beating faster and faster with every step I take. But I know I have to keep going. I have to find her. But, with my luck, she is no were to be seen.

After running for accouple more minuets, my lack of sleep and the blood I've lost from the cut Finnick gave me finally takes its toll and I have to clutch a near by tree to balance my self. Despite my body condition, my mind is wide awake and my eyes scan the area for her. once a few seconds have passed, I can't take it.

"KATNISS!"

It only takes her about accouple of seconds for her to answer, but it feels like hours.

As soon as I hear her voice, I'm off and running as fast as I can with one fake leg. Eventfully, I trip on a sticking out root and fall face first into the dirt.

Once im up, I can tell the blood I've lost from my forearm is affecting me. The world is spinning and I can't even remember which direction I was going.

_Damn it_

It does not take long for me to know that in order to remember where Katniss was, im going to have to call her out again.

"KATNISS!"

I wait like I did before, only this time, theirs no response. Something must be wrong and time is running out – for both of us.

Every thing has become blurred and my head is roaring.

Panicking, I call her out again, this time louder.

"KATNISS!"

The pain of my own scream makes my head feel like it's just been pounded by a heavy rock and soon, I can't even stand.

I glance up one last time and by some miracle – especially with my blurred vision – I see a figure curled up in a small ball with a braid going down their side only about nine meters away.

My mind blows a whistle and I know who it is. _Katniss! _

Her arm is cut in the same place as mine and I come to the conclusion that Joanna attacked her just as Finnick attacked me.

I can feel it in my gut that something is going to happen, but try to dismiss the thought – I mean, why would Finnick cut me in the same place Joanna cut Katniss?

At the moment, my prime focus is getting to Katniss. I take another look and see her hand move slightly. Her eyes are closed and she's somewhere between sitting and lying against the tree. Her arm is stretched out to someone in the shadows, though I don't know who.

By now I've made it about six meters. And only have three to go. I'm somewhere between jogging and walking, due to the pathetic state im in.

In the distance I hear a mocking jay whistle what sounds like a warning call. My mind flashes back to when Katniss told me about the avox girl she and Gale found in the woods. The uneasy feeling I had before comes back and I have a strong urge to look behind me.

I see a hovercraft – clearly here to pick up a body, but I don't remember hearing a canon. _You probably couldn't hear it _I repeat over and over to myself but know its useless when I see what direction it's going.

It's going straight toward Katniss.

My mind tries desperately to think of any reason why the hovercraft would be going toward her.

Then I remember that theirs someone who was next to Katniss – although I don't know who. Maybe the hovercraft is here to get him/her.

But I know im only fooling myself.

By now the hover craft's claw is descending down and I can almost feel my heart stop when I see who is being carried up – it's none other then Katniss.

Out of no were, I get a burst of energy, willing myself to get to her before it's too late. I know something is wrong – something is _very_ wrong – because I know that Katniss is still alive. Even now, I can still see her stomach rise and fall as the hovercraft claw goes around her small figure.

By the time I reach her, the hover craft has lifted her up about six feet in the air. One of her hands hangs limply out and I reach my hand up to reach it.

Im able to touch her hand for a slight second before she's out of my reach and has almost made it to the hover craft.

I hear someone yelling and recognize it's my voice.

By now my whole body feels weak and numb – weak because of the blood I've lost and numb because Katniss is probably dead or about to die – far off in the distance, I see another hovercraft pick up someone else – a girl, that's for sure – but the person they are picking up is very much alive, trying her hardest to escape.

Something is wrong – that is for sure, not a hunch. _Why are they picking up live tributes? And why so many at a time? _

Just then, Finnick comes crashing through the shadows, looking relived to find me. My eyes go wide as I come to the conclusion that he's going to kill me. I take a step backwards and trip over something and hear a weak groan.

Just then I remember their was someone next to Katniss. I look at the floor and see none other then Beete, lying on the floor with bloody moss against his cut Finnick gave him.

Finnick! I look up and see Finnick standing over me. But something that I don't get is that he has a cut just like the ones he gave me and Beete and the one Katniss had. His face shows no signs of killer, but that of concern and haste.

"Is he still alive?" he asks, sitting down next to Beete. Once he checks his pulse, he sights relief, which must mean that he is alive.

"Finnick, what going on?" I ask in a less then friendly tone.

Not noticing my tone of voice, he just looks me in the eyes and says "Not here"

He looks up and sighs relived. I turn my head to see what he's looking at and see nothing other then a hovercraft. Except, this hovercraft is not one from the Capitol.

It is smaller and is black, which is most likely to make it invisible in the dark sky of the arena.

Its claw comes down to pick us up and when im about to make a run for it, Finnick grabs my arm and pulls me back down.

"Stay" is all he says.

A part of me tells me that I shouldn't trust him, but the other part doesn't care anymore. There is not life for me without Katniss, anyway. So why should I care whether I live or die.

The claw comes down and goes around us all. We go up so fast that before I know it, were in the hover craft. Doctors surround us the moment were in and I feel a ease. These are not capitol doctors; these doctors do not have pink hair or blue eyelashes or green ips. These doctors look normal.

I feel a needle going my arm, followed by the feeling of a cold liquid going in my veins.

My first instinct is to jerk away, but I physically can't. The amount of blood I've lost made me weak and whatever they have just put into my arm had made me tired and helpless.

_Sleep syrup_ I think with a slight smile to myself, remembering the less then pleasant experience when Katniss drugged me.

Before I know it, my vision is blurred and I see nothing but darkness.

**so should I continue? What do you think? Please let me know! You don't even have to be a member or anything**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you for all the reviews! I did not think I would get as many as I did, so thanks again. It really means ALOT to me. So anyway, here's chapter two! And please review and tell me what you thought and ill be the happiest person on earth! :) **

Katniss' POV

I bolt up at the sound of a heart wrenching scream, only the see nothing but gloomy darkness. The smell of roses and blood fill my nostrils as an uneasy feeling creeps up my spine. A papery texture scrapes across my thighs and I know that im wearing a paper hospital gown.

_Where am I? _

I try to get up, but find it useless – my arms and legs are strapped to the – very uncomfortable – wooden chair im sitting on. I try to wiggle my way out, but when I move my arm, a razor-sharp pain shoots through me and I let out a girlish scream.

Of in the distance, I hear another scream. My head whips back to the source of the sound to see what's going on. Which is useless, thanks to the darkened room im in. everything is pitch black and it annoys me that im not able to use one of my hunters senses. I feel uneven and off balance.

Trying to figure out where I am, I try to gather all the information I know.

_Cinna was attacked – most likely dead. I was in the arena - again. I was attacked by Joanna and don't know where Peeta is, but remember him calling my name. A hovercraft came to pick me up. I saw Snow right before everything went black. I've been unconscious for who knows how long. The room is black and smells of blood and roses…_

My eyes go wide as I recognize that im a prisoner to Snow – and probably not the only one.

Panic courses through my body and I begin to hyperventilate.

_This is a dream, your going to wake up soon. You are not prisoner to Snow._

I sigh as I begin to comprehend how useless this is – trying to fool myself.

As if reading my mind, knowing that I had just put two and two together, the lights flash on – leaving me temporarily blinded.

After blinking accouple of times, my eyes adjust and I take in everything around me.

Im in a white, shiny room with many cabinets – that with close inspection, you can see needles and bottles filled with an unfamiliar liquid - and chains – that are attached deep into the wall. My wooden chair is in the center of the room and I can see a TV on a stand to my far left.

I look to my body and find it flawless. _Why? _Is all I ask myself.

Reluctantly, I let my eyes wander to the person who opened the door, but all I see is a pink blur. _Capitol people_ I quietly mumble to myself.

Surprisingly, she – or at least I think it's a she – doesn't talk. She just checks my blood pressure and temperature. I look her in the eye, expectantly. All my life, I've always wanted to know what's going on, today is no exception.

All she does is nod her head and tighten my chains, which make me flinch.

"so sorry, so, so sorry" she mumbles to me – lacking the capitol accent. Im taken aback by a capitol person being affectionate – to me – and have to look her in the eye to see if she is just being sarcastic. But all I see when I look in her eyes is sadness and pity.

A look must have registered on my face, because she gives me a small smile and nods her head slightly.

She stands up and announces loudly, now with the capitol accent, that im "as healthy as a button" and she walks out.

Why would she suddenly change personalities like that? Are we being recorded?

Im pulled away from further thought as an overpowering smell of roses comes close.

Fear shoots through my body as I desperately try to escape. Pain explodes in my arm as I try to wiggle it free, only this time, the pain hardly makes an impression on me.

The smell grows stronger and stronger as the seconds pass. My eyes scan the room for an escape rout, but the only one is through the door that the pink lady came through.

The smell of roses is now stronger then ever as I try to escape.

I hear something crack the slightest bit and see that part of my left arms chain has come loose. A small smile comes across my lips as I easily manage to get my arms out.

But with my luck, that smile is quickly whipped away as an overpowering bolt of electricity zaps through my body, leaving me feeling weaker then before.

By now, all I can smell are roses – and now blood. He must be getting close.

I try to move my free arm to unlatch the rest of the chains, but intense pain goes through my body and I feel like im being roasted inside out. This clearly is not "normal" electricity – somehow, the capitol found a way to also mutate electricity.

I groan in frustration as I think that only the capitol would want to mutate electricity as well as animals.

Just then, the devil himself enters the room – along with four peacekeepers behind him. Snow waves his hand and the peacekeepers come up to me and replace my chains with tighter, more thick ones.

After testing and making sure theirs no way for me to escape, Snow dismisses them, and they obediently leave the room.

As soon as the door clicks shut, Snow steps forward.

"It's been quite some time since we've seen each other, don't you think?' he asks somewhat rhetorically.

I'm honestly shocked. Why would he talk so casually – as if it were just a day at the park – when clearly, this may be a life or death situation.

He chuckles lightly at my expression and continues.

"As you probably already know, there has been an uprising in the districts."

I look at him, in pure shock. I mean, I knew that district 8 – and even Cinna - rebelled, but I had no idea that all of the districts were rebelling.

"The quarter quell was cut of early, and, well, that why you're here."

Having a feeling that he is going to tell me his plan, I try not to look to nervous.

"Are you going to kill me?" I blurt out.

"Oh, no, killing you would be too easy, besides, your death would just add to the flames"

"So what are you going to do to me? Why am I here then?"

"You are here to be an example. You are here because the districts must learn what happens when you disobey. You get punished"

I resist the urge to yell every foul name I know at him.

I can tell he is waiting for me to answer, but I don't have anything to say. Instead, all I do look down at the floor.

He turns to the door, but stops and turns toward me just as he reaches it.

"oh! And one more thing. I forgot to introduce you to your…" he pauses while looking for the right word to use "… caretaker. He will be here in about five minuets"

With that, he turns to go, leaving me with only myself to figure things out.

_Who is this mysterious man? What will he do to me? What going on? Where's Peeta? Are Prim and my mother alright? What about Gale? Has Snow arranged some kind of "accident" for him? _All thins and more run through my head. As time passes, the seconds feel like their going to by to fast, but at the same time, I feel like time has froze in place.

I chew on my lower lip as I wait for the longest five minuets of my life to pass. It does not take long for the taste of blood to fill my mouth. My eyes go around the room, taking in everything, and looking for escape roughs. I have given up trying to escape – these chains are too thick and even though the chair is made f wood, the wood is so thick; I can hardly make a dent in it. I grit my teeth in frustration. I can't help but wonder who this mystery man is. Do I know him? Or is he someone I have never met? More importantly, what does Snow have planned for me? I'm almost certain that he is going to torture me, or, as he calls it, "teach me a lesson."

The door knob twists and I know it's him. The man who will decide my fate. My "care taker."

My heart is racing and my pals start to sweat like crazy.

The door starts to open and my heart stops as I see who will be the man who decides m fate.

It's none other then Thread.

**So… what did you think? Like it? Hate it? PLEASE tell me! REVIEW! Also, if you have any ideas for the story, please tell me. I'd really appreciate it! :D**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hi again! thanks for all the reviews I've been getting! :D it really means allot! SO KEEP REVIEWING! And sorry for not updating in awhile. I had to go to Arizona then to Kentucky for my aunts funeral and as soon as I got back, I had midterms then as soon as I finished all my tests and projects, I got the flew. But I promise a long(ish) chapter to make up for everything. **

**Also, I forgot to go over my last chapter, so sorry if theirs allot of spelling errors… But before you read this chapter, ****I want to thank ****Peeta4lLife245 for reviewing and giving me ideas for this chapter. **

**And please tell me what you thought about this chapter and send me your ideas! As I said before, they mean allot! Also, please don't hate me if my grammar and spelling is bad! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own the hunger games! Only Suzanne Collins does 'cause she's awesome. :) **

Peeta's POV

Before I open my eyes, I can feel the warm sunlight on my face. It feels so nice, but in the air, I can feel that something is amiss. After a minuet, I open my eyes and inspect the room. But I have a hard time doing so, because there is a nagging feeling in the back of my head. Something that's telling me something's very wrong.

But then I remember seeing Katniss being picked up by another hovercraft. I still don't know if she was picked up by the same people who picked me, Finnick, and Beete or by the capitol.

I decide to dismiss it and find out where I am and what's going on.

I remember getting picked up by a hovercraft – which could have easily been from the capitol. But I doubt it. Finnick was conscious and seemed in control of things. In fact, I remember seeing him relax when the hovercraft picked us up. So I know that I'm most likely safe – although I have no idea why we've been rescued, or who rescued us. All I know is that Finnick trusted whoever they were. But then again – is Finnick trust worthy? He did try to kill me and Beete by cutting out veins and almost making us bleed to death. I sigh and decide that I can't change anything.

Slowly, I sit up and instantly see Beete in the hospital bed across the room. Connected to his arm are multiple tubes – some with liquid coming in or out. He looks much better then he was before, but is still unconscious.

Theirs no restraints on my arm or anything that says it's wrong to get up, so I swing my feet over the edge of the bed and sit up.

Looking down, I see im in nothing but a nightgown.

I inspect the room again to look for the door and see it just across the room. I stand up try to walk normally, but the cold floor is making my feet jump with every step.

The feeling that something is wrong – that Katniss is not safe – comes back to me as my hand starts to turn the doorknob.

For a second, I almost want to go back – knowing that if I open the door, someone will tell me were Katniss is – and I'm not so sure I want to hear the truth. But I decide to just stare at the doorknob – thinking through every thing I could have – should have – done to save her.

_She was rescued and is safe _I tell myself _theirs no way the capitol could have gotten her. _

I start to chew vigorously on my bottom lip. I'm not certain that Katniss is captured, but something is telling me that she's either dead or worse…

Finally, I can't take it anymore. I have to know were she is – if she is still alive.

The door swings open and reveals a white hall going two directions.

I groan annoyed, and try to take a guess.

Just as I'm about to go to the left, I hear a voice coming from the right.

"No, I'm sorry." a strangely familiar voice says – a voice that can only belong to Plarch Havensbee – this years Head Game Maker. "There's no way I can get you to Four. But I've been given special orders for her retrieval if possible. It's the best I can do, Finnick."

Plarch Havensbee? Maybe I was captured by the capitol. Which asks the question why they want me alive. Are they waiting to kill us their own way – maybe as an act of vengeance? I don't know what we've done wrong that would cause them to be so angry – except for the berry thing last year. But wouldn't it be better to have us die in the games? Were we would be sure to be publicly humiliated and to die a less-then-pretty death? The only thing that frustrates me even more is that Finnick is in on all this. Now I feel almost certain that im in a bad situation when I hear another voice speak up.

"Don't be stupid. That's the worst thing you could do. Get her killed for sure. As long as your alive, they'll keep her alive or bait." Says Haymitch.

Haymitch! I can't help but feel a little relaxed because I know that Haymitch would not want me killed.

Without thinking, I open the door and stumble inside.

Inside, I see Haymitch, Plarch, and a very worn out Finnick sitting around a table that has a meal that no one has even touched.

Plarch looks at me for a second – he clearly did not expect me to come in – while Finnick just looks at the meal in the middle of the table as if he were getting ready to eat, but the look in his eyes says otherwise. Lastly, I see Haymitch completely avoiding my eye. I remember doing the same to Katniss in the first arena when we caught her in the tree. I felt guilty – even though I was helping her by joining their alliance – and did my best to avoid her gaze. I feel my stomach churn and I know that the feeling I had about Katniss being in trouble is no longer just a feeling. I know that she's either in danger or dead – I don't know which is worse.

Haymitch finally looks at me and waves his hand over, signaling me to sit.

slowly, I come to sit in an empty spot on the couch.

I look directly at Haymitch as I say in the clearest voice I can muster.

Haymitch opens his mouth to talk, but my patience is running out.

"Were is she?"

"Hold on, boy! I'm getting there!" Haymitch practically yells, clearly trying to defend himself. "and a hello would be nice" he mumbles quietly, clearly being sarcastic.

And that's when I loose it.

I knock him to the ground and pin him down (that rhymed :)).

My fist meets his face as I start yelling who knows what. Not even I'm sure what I'm yelling at Haymitch.

"YOU SON OF A BITCH! EVEN SUNSHINE WAS BETTER THEN YOU!" Haymitch yells in my face

With that I punch him in the face and see his nose start to bleed.

I can feel my eyes start to water as I let what Haymitch has just said run through my mind. "even sunshine wasbetter then you" _was… _

I pause for a moment and Haymitch seizes that moment to push me of him.

We scream horrible, horrible things at each other while Finnick and Plarch try to calm us down, but we both just ignore them. After what feels like fore ever of this, Haymitch finally reaches his boiling point.

"You want to know were she is boy? She's either dead or in the bloody capitol! Probably being tortured as we speak!" he yells.

The whole room falls quiet and I can see that even Haymitch knows he's gone to far.

I feel like I have just been hit with a bolder as my hands form into fists. All feeling has gone and been replaced by a numbing pain. Time feels like it has just stopped. I feel like I'm being suffocated and breathing becomes almost impossible. All this happens as one thought runs through my head. The girl of my dreams – my love – is being tortured – all while I could have just gone with my gut and saved her. Ican feel all three of them looking at me, waiting for my reaction, but I just stare at the blank wall.

I take a deep breath and look towards the floor, slowly closing my eyes as water begins to pool in them. Blood fills my mouth as I feel my cheeks begin to wetten and I become conscious that I have been gnawing on my lower lip.

We all stay silent and at one point I think I hear Finnick sob – something about Anny I think.

"Why?" I barely whisper to no one in particular. I don't expect anyone to hear me.

"Because you two are the ones who sparked the fire." Plarch answers, apparently he heard me.

What? When did we spark a fire and what's that fire? I look up at him, confused.

Plarch just smiles. "She never told you?"

Is he referring to Katniss? If so, what did she tell me?

He must see the puzzled look in my face, because he just laughs a little and explains further on.

He tells me that when Katniss and I threatened to eat the berries in our first game, it sparked a rebellion – I remember Katniss saying something about district 8. He tells me that since Katniss is the one who came up with the idea to eat the berries, she is the one that the districts followed – leading to Snow threatening her before out victory tour. He tells me that when the quarter quell was announced, the rebels had a plan to save us and bring us to district 13 – I remember Katniss obsessing over district 13 when she hurt her ankle – and start the war. He also says that victors from districts 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11 and Haymitch had some knowledge of this – which explains what Finnick saved my life and Mags' sacrifice and the morphine voluntarily saving my life. And lastly, he tells me that while district 13's rescue from the arena was taking place, the capitol came in and get what they could. They told me that the capitol managed to get Joanna, Enobaria, and Katniss, and that they were lucky they got me, Finnick, and Beete.

I think back to after our first games, and now that I think of it, I remember Katniss hinting and even talking about a rebellion. At the time, I thought she was insane or something and just _pretended_ to listen to her at the time obscure and just plain stupid ideas.

A wave of guilt hits me and I know that I should have listened to her. I should have cherished her presence instead of _pretending_ to care. It's like I forgot all that I went through to keep her alive just to push her off to the side. I now know that I was the one who was wrong and she was the one who was right.

I sigh, my eyes looking at the floor. _What have I done?_ I ask myself. But then a realization hits me and I remember Plarch saying that Haymitch knew about the rescue. He knew about the rescue, but never told us.

And in that moment, all I know is that _he,_ of all people, lied to us – and it may cost _her_ life. That she trusted him with her life and he practically threw it into the flames.

I feel hatred toward Haymitch. I don't think I've been this mad in my life – not even at my mother. I trusted him and now I may never see her again. I may never hold her close and tell her I love her ever again. But I know I should not be mad at only Haymitch. I should also be mad at myself. I'm the one who thought it wasn't necessary to leave the group during the games. I'm the one who should have stayed with her the night of the rescue. I should have run to her when she called out my name. But instead, here I am, sitting here safe and sound as we fly back to district 13 while she's I the capitol, paying the price for my actions.

Plarch continues explaining things about the rebellion but I tune everything out. When he finally sees that I'm no longer paying any attention, he asks some nurses to take to my bed.

After the walk through the halls, I find myself at a different room then before.

I turn to question the nurse, but before I can say anything, she answers me.

"They had you relocated to your own private hospital room."

I nod my head and walk inside.

She has me sit on the bed while she does some tests on me.

"Your looking much better then you were when you got here." She says with a soft smile.

Once again, I just nod my head in reply as she turns to walk out – leaving me here alone.

After about five minuets, I feel my bottom lip become heavy and my eyes start to water. The room feels colder-though I like it, it lets me know I'm alive. I feel my body shake as a tear falls from my eyes – soon to be followed by others. I don't try to stop it. The numbing pain shoots through my body and I fall on the ground. I feel the tears come down my face rapidly and can't even see through my eyes anymore. _Why are you gone? _I demand to Katniss – although she can't hear me. _WHY? _I yell in my mind. I close my eyes and just yell as loud as I can. I don't care who hears me and I don't care what anyone thinks. All that I care about is Katniss. Katniss, the girl of my dreams. My love. My _life. _

I do this for an hour before I decide I should get back in the bed.

Slowly, I pull myself up and sit on the edge of the bed. I put my head in my hands and begin to cry. This time, I remain silent- except for the occasional gasps I let out.

I go on and off between yelling and silent tears. At one point, the nurse comes in and forces me to lie down. I zone out while she does this and laying down makes my zone out even more.

People are constantly coming in, trying to explain what's going on, but I know I don't want to hear what their saying. Their just going to talk about what's going on – which are either thing's I don't want to hear or don't have the courage to hear.

The only person that I at least try to listen to is Finnick.

"I'm truly sorry, Peeta. I did all I could to save you both. I just didn't expect you to run away after I cut you." Finnick says in a worn out voice.

I turn my face away so I can't see him. I'm still a little mad about what happened in the arena

I can feel him examining me.

We both stay like that for accouple of minuets when Finnick finally speaks up.

"You know, as much as you may not believe it, I know what you're going through – with loosing Katniss to the capitol. I found out that they got my Anny there, too."

He's silent for a second as he recomposes himself. I hear him take a deep breath before he speaks again.

"What I'm trying to say is that, well, I'm sorry for never telling you. In all honesty, I thought the whole "star crossed lovers thing" was just a lie – a trick – to get sponsors. But as I have learned, there's always a grain of truth that the lie has to sprout from. And now I know that you do love her. And that she loves you back. I should have told you." He says in a voice he's trying hard to keep steady.

For a second, I'm stunned. _And she loves you back_. I look back at him for a second. Finally, for the first time since I found out about Katniss, I speak up.

"What do you mean 'she love me'?"

Finnick just looks at me like the answers the most obvious thing in the world.

"Her reaction when you ran into the force-field says it all" he says simply.

"She doesn't love me; she loves her best friend, _Gale_." I say back.

Finnick looks deep in thought. I wait for him to reply, but he never does – that is, right until I give up on waiting.

"It's possible to love more then one person, you know." Finnick replies quietly.

I'm about to reply, saying that it's not possible – I've seen the way they look at each other, how she stayed with him all night the day Gale got whipped – their hands linked together, lips just inches apart – but I know that it's useless.

I decide that it's time to go to sleep – or at least pretend I'm asleep. I know I don't know weather or not I want to fall asleep – I know that it could be some small form of escape, but I also know that tonight, my 'dreams' will either be pleasant or more horrible the regular.

Unfortunately, it's the ladder.

**So what did ya think? I know this is not one of my better chapters, but I wrote this in a rush and I apologize for the grammar mistakes I probably made in this chapter :/ but please review and tell what hat you did and didn't like about it. It only takes about 20 seconds. Also, I'm more then happy to hear you ideas. **


	4. Chapter 4

**Okay… so first off, im EXTREMELY sorry that I haven't updated for awhile. My computer broke and then… what the heck, ill just stop it with the excuses. Truth is, I got sick and Kinda lost my inspiration, but no worries! Im back and ill try to get back to updating sooner (but just saying, the more reviews I get, the faster ill update… hint hint ;))**

**Also, in case you didn't notice, the story skips about a month, so it's been a month since they were in the arena. **

**Any who, BACK TO THE STORY… also, as you already know, I don't own the hunger games, only Suzanne Collins does – cause she's awesome.**

**Katniss' POV**

1 month later…

I take a deep, shaky breath. My arms are still trembling from the constant zaps they have been giving me. My eyes close as I try to block out the throbbing pain in my head and the constant ach in my stomach from lack of food.

I keep my body in its curled up ball on the floor as I feel blood trickle down my back. I can feel tears pooling up in my eyes as my hand gently grazes the spot on my arm where they have been in injecting the venom.

I hear a loud snap and just barely have time to prepare my body for the next lash.

Without permission, a scream escapes my lips as I feel hot tears stream down my face.

"She needs another" I hear a voice in the background

I feel another needle stab in my arm and try to hide the pain in my face as the burning liquid seeps through my forearm and spreads through my veins.

My world starts spinning and I try t gain control of what is happening.

"You know he's a mutt, right?"

"NO! no, no, no, no…" I say as I start shaking my head vigorously in disagreement – which does nothing to help my head ace.

_Just breathe._

_In. Out. In. Out. _

"Oh, really…? And why is that?"

I can tell he's waiting for me to answer, but I just let silence be my response.

"Oh, I see. You still think that he's that precious little bread boy of yours. Well guess what, people change. We've showed you the film, what else do you need for us to prove to you that he's nothing more than mutation. What else do you need to prove the fact that he left you for his own safety. HE. LEFT. YOU." Thread yells.

"How stupid do you think I am?" I spit out.

Thread looks down at me, and I can see he's loosing his patience with me.

He takes a deep breath and recomposes himself.

"You know better then to make me angry, Everdeen. I honestly thought you were smarter than that."

By now the venom is making my world spin and I feel as though I'm going to through up at any moment.

I take a deep gulp in a weak attempt to moisten my throat before I speak.

"People change" is all I mumble. But I know I have just poked and angry bear with a stick. I know I have reached Threads boiling point by mocking him – also considering he has anger issues and has even less patience with me that for anyone else jut makes my situation that much worse. I have just mocked him, and don't ask why, but he get _furious _when anyone mimics him. But I also know that if I anger Thread, he'll physically beat me – and although that sounds harsh, I know it is by far better to protect the little sanity I have left. They won't mentally abuse me if they're to busy physically abusing me.

I look up and see a vey angry Thread looking down at me, and I swear, his eyes have a little flames of anger in them.

I snicker at him and just to make his even more angry than he already is, I look him straight in the eyes and say in as clear of a voice I can muster "Angry?" Although I don't know why this always makes him so mad, I do know it works.

It is especially evident that I have accomplished my mission when he grabs my hair and pulls me up – leaving my feet hovering accouple of feet above the ground. For a second, he just stairs into my eyes then, without warning, punches my stomach and then drops me on the floor so I can shrivel up into a small ball.

For a second, I regret making him angry, than I remember Peeta's face and warm smile and how their trying to make me think he's a mutt. I can't stop the small whimper that escapes my lips. I know I a very homesick, and even though I would love to have some one from home here with me, I know that it's best that there… not here.

My mind is brought back into the present by the Threads hands grabbing my body and pulling me up in the air. Fear shoots through me as I feel him through me toward the wall – which just so happens to be made of metal. I try my hardest to prepare my body for the blow, but I doubt that even armor could soften the blow.

A large _BANG _echoes throughout the room as my small body hits the wall. Saying I feel as though I have been hit by a truck would be an understatement. The familiar feeling of blood trickling down my back comes back as some old cuts reopen. My left hipbone is roaring and I know that there is going to be at least a bruse there.

My hands and arms envelop around my head as a screech of pain escapes my lips.

My body is already shaking as I feel a familiar but unwelcome pair of hands grab my body and when I open, I can tell he is about to try something new on me. I go into panic mode and try to wiggle my way out. But it's useless. Even if I were at my peek of health, I would still have trouble escaping from Threads iron grip.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?" I screech in his ear as soon as I see a chair with some strange things attached to it.

All I get is an angry glare while he places me on the seat. Before I can try to make an escape, I feel some all too familiar shackles going around my wrists and ankles. He pulls a brace out from the left side of my hip and buckles it on the other side while tightening the thick leather. When he's sure I can't escape, he attaches a needle to my arm. The needle attaches to a tube that does not have anything in it – yet.

"What are you doing?!" I question/yell at Thread again.

He turns toward me with a wicked smile plastered on his face. "You'll see" and as he finishes, he just looks at me and than starts laughing. My suspicion that Thread is not all that right in the head comes back to me.

When Thread is finished with his episode, he calls in some people to wheel in an old TV and set it in front of me.

"Ummm… what's going on?" I ask one of the people.

After getting no response, I let out a sigh and slough back into the chair.

The attendants leave, and as they go, turn out all the lights except for the one hanging above my head.

Thread comes back into my sight and turns on a contraption besides me. As it turns out, the "contraption" is connected to the tube that is connected to the needle and starts pumping some sort of clear liquid.

"What is that!?" I demand, looking at Thread.

Something about the liquid makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand and I know not to trust what ever that needle is about to pump through me.

"WHAT. IS. GOING. ON. WHAT. IS. THAT. LIQUID!?" I yell at Thread, although he seems unfazed. He is too focused on turning on the TV.

The liquid finally starts making its way into my veins and immediate, I feel a burning sensation and an all too familiar feeling. I have to start taking deep breath through my moth to keep myself from screaming.

I know I know this feeling. I know it all to well; I just can't place from where. Finally, I open my eyes and can see him still fiddling with a tape.

My hands form fists as my lip starts bleeding again from biting it so much. the liquid that being injected into me is making my world spin and I can feel slightly dizzy. Suddenly, I don't feel like I'm in control. I feel like my brain is just… stopping. I can't think clearly, and the only clear thought I can process is _what is this?!_

Finally, Thread backs away from the old TV and the one light I had goes off. I can still fell the burning liquid going through me when the TV comes to life.

I almost gasp when I see were it is. It's the arena. It shows me the 74th annual hunger games arena. My eyes go wide when I see Peeta, and immediately, all my attention goes on the small screen.

In the arena, I can see blood is spread every where and come to the conclusion that the blood bath must have taken place.

The camera goes to the careers making plans. I can see Glimmer, Marvel, Clove, Cato, and another tribute that I do not recognize – probably the district 4 girl.

Peeta comes back on screen and starts approaching the careers. At first, he is walking slowly and looks afraid. But as soon at Glimmer spot him, he straightens up and walks toward them with confidence.

Marvel and the District 4 girl pull out their weapons and aim toward him. Looking unfazed, he turns toward Cato and what he says next shocks me more than it should.

"You can kill me now, if you want. Your loss." Peeta says to Cato.

"And why would it be our loss?" questions Cato.

"Because I'm your best chance of finding her."

"I thought you loved her." Glimmer says flirtatiously. I can't help but to roll my eyes. Of all things she could have been doing in that moment. Then I remember I killed her and can't help but feel guilty.

Not even looking baffled, Peeta replies "she didn't love me back. What fun is that?" than looking at glimmer, he says "And that was before I laid eyes on you" he flirts back with Glimmer (**if you want to know why Peeta seemed interested in Glimmer, check the authors note at the end of the story**) "Besides, it is the Hunger Games, and only after you, she's the biggest threat."

"What about Thresh?" The district four girl shoots back.

"She may look small on the outside, but believe me, she will kill. Thresh may be strong, but is less likely to kill."

Cao puts this into consideration, and without checking on his allies opinions, just gives a Peeta a simple "Okay."

Peeta looks shocked, but quickly hides it with a smirk. "I knew you'd come to your senses."

"so, tell us where she is, Loverboy." An irritated Clove shoots.

I see Glimmer and Cato smirk at Cloves nickname for Peeta while Marvel just rolls his eyes and the district 4 girl remains unfazed.

"That way." Peeta points toward the part of the woods I remember disappearing to.

"what's her weapon?" clove asks again, looking a bit more pleased with Peeta.

I'm guessing Peeta saw the incident with me, clove and the knife during the bloodbath, because he looks directly at clove and says on a straight voice "Knives."

Cloves eyes go wide, remembering she gave me my weapon.

The video skips to accouple minuets before the tree incident, and it shows the careers starting to chase me.

I can hear the careers chanting and giving excided hoots. All of them are running and have a look of excitement on there face with a look of excitement there eyes – even Peeta's. I can't help but to feel betrayed by Peeta, so I don't stop myself for searching his eyes through the screen, searching for any signs that he's not enjoying chasing me. When I see nothing, I try to convince myself that maybe he's just acting. But i know how pointless this is because I know he can't act. I mean, he can act – he can change his position and facial expressions and even his voice so he sounds how ever he wants to sound – but I know as a fact, he can not change the whole mood in his eyes. Only I can do that.

When my focus is back on the TV, I am already in the tree. the cameras briefly go over each of out faces – Peeta's still looking excited for the chase – ending with me.

My heart feels as though it's been stomped on repeatedly. I feel betrayed. I fee a pain in my heart that I only ever felt after my fathers passing. How could he have done something like that? Say he loved me one moment, then smile at me being treed the next.

Im so lost in my thoughts, I don't notice the screen switching scenes.

I look us to see what the screen is trying to show me, but immediately wish I hadn't. I can see the quarter quell.

I can see my body being picked up by a hovercraft, and an almost relived Peeta leaning on a tree nearby, watching from the sidelines.

Anger boils inside me. And with the liquid their pumping inside me, I feel a complete hatred for Peeta.

My mind brings me back to the roof the day before the interviews for the quarter quell.

Was that all fake, too? Was he just toying with me, using me?

I feel so confused. A part of me is telling me to believe what the capitol is saying. I mean, they have proof, right?

But another part, a smaller part, is telling me that the capitol is wrong. They don't care about me, but they want to hurt me.

"So, what do you have to say about your precious baker boy?" Thread asks in a less than interested voice.

"You're lying. He's not a mutt, he can't be!" I scream at Thread.

The liquid inside my arm is making me dizzy, so when I try to look him I the eye, I feel my body sway. I hear Thread laugh at me, so I just press my back against the chair to avoid further embarrassment.

"And why not, Mrs. Everdeen. Why can't he be a mutt? What's keeping you from seeing the truth?"

"Be-because he just can't be!" I stammer at him.

"Well see about that."

"What!?"

"Your opinion on baker boy."

Im about to correct him, tell him it's _Peeta, _not baker boy. But than I tell myself it's not worth it.

I hear the door shut, and see I'm alone.

_Great, now I'm stuck in this chair. _I think to myself.

But my mind goes back to the question Thread just asked me.

"_And why not, Mrs. Everdeen. Why can't he be a mutt?"_

For awhile, I just think about _why._

Than, after a long moment, I realize the reason why.

It's because he's my anchor. Because he's my protector. Because I love him.

**Sorry, I just had to put the last part :P **

**So anyway, I have to explain what Peeta was doing in the videos 'cause I don't want you to hate him. In the first one, he flirted with Glimmer because he wanted to gain the careers trust. The other two were edited by the capitol.**

****ALSO, if I can get 15 reviews, ill update another chapter by this time next week, promise!**

**And your ideas and comments - happy or critical – are welcome. **


	5. Chapter 5

**Hello! **

**So, I didn't get the number of reviews I wanted (thanks allot ;)), but I got bored, so I decided to update, because im nice. **

**Also, PLEASE remember to review or share your ideas for this story. It always makes me happy :D but just tell me weather or not you like how the stories going!**

**Also, if I can get 17 reviews by next week, I'll update soon! This time, I'm not kidding.**

**Disclaimer: although I think we all know this; I do not own the Hunger Games!**

**Without further to do, here's chapter 5! **

Peeta's POV

_My name is Peeta Melark I am 17 years old. I am from district 12. I was in the Hunger Games – twice. I escaped. Katniss is in the capitol. She is believed to be dead. she probably is dead. It would be best is she was dead…_

I've been repeating this over and over in my head. It's the only thing keeping me sane. I take a deep breath as I open my eyes to look at the clock. 5:30. I don't have to get ready till seven, so I could just sleep in, but I know that sleep will only bring dreams of… _her. _

I close my eyes as I picture her gray orbs looking at me and the way her hair looks when it's down. How sweet her voice is when she sings. How beautiful she looks when she smiles. How melodic her laugh is…

My mind goes back in time to the last time we were on the roof. Could that have only been a month ago?

I hear Finnick groan in the hospital bed next to me, and guess he is either having a bad dream or just woke up.

I don't get why were still in the hospital and not given rooms. But then I take a look at myself, and can't help but feel stupid. You could never recognize me as the cheery boy who was always smiling.

A small sigh escapes my lips as I start thinking about everything that has happened. Me and Haymitch have kept a distance ever since the "hover-craft incident," as Finnick calls it. Thankfully, Finnick and I are on good terms again. I the beginning, I blamed him, Haymitch, and thirteen for what happened to Katniss. But now I know that it was my fault. I should have kept an eye out for Katniss. I know now I should have listened to her when she told me that she wanted to abandon the alliance.

But I didn't. And now, I'm left to pay the consequences.

I can't help but wonder what my father would tell me, what my older brother, Ryle, would tell me. How my oldest brother, Titan, would probably cry with me. How my mother would probably call me foolish.

I laugh a little at how my family would react.

_My family_. I feel a lump in my throat and choke back tears.

They perished in the bombing. My eyes shut, and I remember my family.

My oldest brother and his wife – Emily – were expecting. Now ill never get to see my niece or nephew. Ryle was ready to propose to his girlfriend, Caden (Kay den). I remember how excited he was. He told me he already planed out his wedding, talking about how much he would like it if I decorated his wedding cake. My father was finally happy, he finally gave my mother a piece of his mind, and after that, she started respecting him, not snickering at every thing he did like she did before. My mother was also happy and content. She was telling us things like "I love you" and would smile more. For the first time, my family was happy. For the first time my life felt complete. I had Katniss – and even if she didn't love me like I did her, I knew that she cared for me. Snows threats had lessened and even Katniss was happier. Haymitch was drinking less. Even my nightmares were less intense. For the first time, I felt like I was having a breath of fresh air. I felt complete. Well, as complete as you can feel after entering the hunger games and knowing the girl you love is head over heels in love with another man.

Then they announced the Quarter Quell. It was like a bunch of bricks just falling on my chest. For awhile, I couldn't breath. I felt like I was being suffocated.

I turned into a career. Doing all in my power to make sure Katniss would be the victor. I promised myself that Katniss would win. That I would be there to protect her and keep her safe at all costs. But I failed. And now, here I am, wishing I could have a second chance.

I hate this feeling. Knowing your life was only going up, then having everything that's precious to you just taken in a mere second – knowing it's all your fault. Sometimes I can feel myself slipping away, slowly going into my own world – and wanting to _never_ come out. At this moment, I can literally see Katniss' face, looking at me in disapproval. I give out a small smile as my eyes start watering.

By the time I get up, it's 6:45. Have I really been thinking for that long?

With a groan, I push myself into a sitting position. Finnick is still mumbling in his sleep. Something about Annie.

I get dressed into the official District 13 uniform and press my arm to the wall to get my schedule for today.

Just as I'm about to leave, I hear Finnick's heart monitor going faster and his hand starts to twitch uncontrollably, as if he was trying to get something.

Feeling guilty, I start shaking his shoulder. No good. It just makes him start kicking. _Just like Katniss… _immediately, I snap out of my thoughts and focus on the task at hand.

After a few trial and errors' with trying to shake Finnick awake, I just grab a water bottle laying next to his bed and pour about half of the bottle on his face.

He bolts up – almost falling off his bed in the process – and screams Annie's name before coming back to reality.

For a moment, the two of us are still. Finnick stares off into the distance with a pained expression on his face while I just start fiddling with my hands. I do an awkward cough, hoping it will bring Finnick back to reality.

Fortunately it woks. Finnick snaps back to reality and starts getting ready. I decide to wait – having nothing better to do.

We start walking to breakfast and get in line. Neither of us talks – for understandable reasons.

After I get breakfast – consisting of oatmeal and mashed barriers – I go and sit down at an empty table. Moments later, Delly comes up and takes her seat across me.

"Good morning!" she chirps. I inwardly wonder how someone can be so happy with everything that has happened. Maybe that's what I looked like to Katniss.

I give a small smile in return, which she gladly accepts.

Delly starts eating her food while I just spin my spoon in circles, occasionally taking little spoonfuls of the oatmeal.

When I look up, I see Delly looking at me – concern written all over her usually happy face.

"What?" I blurt out.

Delly continues staring for a moment until she finally speaks.

"Why haven't you been sleeping or eating lately?"

My head swings up, shocked. I don't even deny. "How did you know?"

Delly just rolls her eyes. "Peeta, I sit with you every meal, and you always do the same thing; play with your food. And as for the sleep part? Well, that was just as easy. You've been having bags under your eyes since we got here."

"Oh." I say, looking down because I feel stupid for the second time this morning.

After a silence, Delly breaks the silence.

"I'm your best friend, Peeta. You can tell me what's wrong." She nearly begs.

"Thanks." I mumble, not entirely sure she can hear me.

We fall into silence again. And again, it's Delly who breaks the silence.

"Peeta! Just tell me what's wrong!" she yells, standing from her seat, clearly irritated with me.

A few people turn and look at her like she's crazy – and even I'm starting to think that – but she doesn't seem to notice. I look down, but still feel her eyes boring into me.

She goes around and sits down next to me.

Speaking in a softer voice, she talks again.

"Peeta, I'm really worried. You haven't been yourself since we arrived in district 13. I just want to help you. And believe me, it help to talk. I just want to know what wrong."

I look up and see her eyes tearing up. "Please." She said in a weak voice, barely audible.

Taking a deep breath, I just look her in the eyes, and tell her the truth in as strong and steady a voice I can muster – but it still comes out hollow. "It's just…" I trail off for a second, trying to get my thoughts together,

"… Everything." I blurt out.

Delly looks deep in thought. Then her eyes go wide in realization.

After a moment, she looks at me, and opens her mouth, just to shut it a second later. I look at her expectantly, and after a moment of hesitation, Delly finally speaks in a weak voice.

"Katniss died, didn't she."

I feel my heart sink. Like she just stabbed me in the heart. It must register on my face because Delly looks guilty. Her eyes water up even more then they did before. "Peeta?" she ask in a weak voice.

"I don't know, but it would be best if she did…" I choke out. Delly gives me a confused expression, but I just decide to ignore it and walk off.

"See you at lunch." I say.

I walk off, ignoring Delly's calls for me to come back.

While walking out, I see Gale staring at me with pure hatred. Nervously, I bite the bottom of my lip and walk away. But the message that Gale was trying to send could not have been clearer. He clearly blames me for what happened to Katniss. And to be honest, I don't blame him.

My head looks down at the ground. Instead of going to my assigned duties, I walk back to my hospital bed.

I don't car what they are going to be telling me later. Right now, I just can't take this anymore. To be honest, im not even sure why I keep fighting to stay sane. I mean I lost every thing. So what difference would it make if I loose my mind? Maybe it's the small possibility that Katniss is still alive. That I might be able to see her again.

_Stop kidding yourself, Melark._ _She's never coming back. _I blink away tears, but some still manage to fall.

I fall on my bed with a _humph _and just stay there, face snuck in my pillow.

My eyes slowly start closing, but as soon as they do, images of the last time I saw Katniss cloud my vision, and my eyes open wide.

So I just sit there, wondering what I did to deserve this.

Feeling the need to punch something, I jump up, grab a vase, and smash it to the floor with a loud shatter. Im not worried about anyone seeing this, because the only people in the victor unit are me, Finnick, and Beete – who are both out – and the occasional nurse.

Still feeling the need to punch something, I decide to beat up my pillow.

After throwing, punching, kicking and eventually ripping my pillow, I have gotten rid of my anger and am left with the all too familiar feeling of emptiness. So I just sit on the bed for a while, just staring at the wall.

The door creaks open and I see a nurse walk in with a pillow. She has long, brown hair with light streaks of blonde in them. Her skin color is light, but still darker then mine and her eyes are a piercing blue that makes me feel intimidated, but at the same time, relaxed.

"Sage" she says as she reaches her hand out.

"Peeta," I mumble shaking her outstretched hand.

She rolls her eyes. "I know who you are."

"Oh." I respond, letting my eyes drift back to the wall in front of me.

"So… can I ask why you're here?" I question.

"I should be asking the same." she says matter-of-factly.

"So are you going to answer my question or not?"

"Pushy, aren't we? Well, anyway, I saw a young girl – about your age – franticly looking for a nurse or something."

"Delly?"

"Yeah, something like that. Well, anyways, she was really worried about you." Her voice softens and I can hear actual concern this time she speaks. "She kept saying that you were hiding something. That you weren't eating or sleeping. She made me promise her that I would come and help you."

I look at her shocked. To be honest, she reminds me of Joanna, so I am surprised that she actually kept her promise to Delly.

As if reading my mind, she speaks up again. "Normally, I would just send another nurse to go deal with patients, but she was crying, and I also can't help but feel like… like I owe you. Without you and Katniss Everdeen, we would never be here – finally giving the Capitol what they deserve." She says the last line with a far away, dreamy look in her eyes, the edges of her mouth slightly twitching up.

After a second, she snaps back to reality. "So let's get started."

I look at her confused by what we are starting – other then a rebellion.

"Why are you not eating?" Sage asks with a voice that might make others feel intimidated – but I grew up with a scary mother for most of my life, and I have been hanging out with Katniss and Haymitch for some time now, so she does not seem to intimidating – which I can tell is making her slightly annoyed.

I just tell her "because I've lost my appetite," which is true, but not wholly the reason why I don't like to eat as much.

Although I do think I was convincing, I can tell Sage doesn't believe me, but luckily, she doesn't push it further.

After that, we just talk. I learn she was from District 8 and has two younger brothers who are currently living in district 13. It feels strange to have a real conversation. I have hardly been talking the whole time I've been in district 13.

After an hour, she finally leaves, leaving me feeling lonelier then ever. I open my drawer, and pull out Katniss' Mocking Jay pin. It was given to me by Finnick – who had found it when he was looking for Katniss on the beach.

I clutch it tightly in my hand, wishing I could somehow bring her back. And I stay like that, just hopelessly dreaming.

**Aww… poor Peeta :( so what do you think of this chapter? I'll admit, this is probably one of the worst chapters so far, but I stayed up till 2 in the morning writing this, so please review and I will be happy.**

**Also, the more reviews I get, the quicker I'll update! It only take 15 seconds, and you don't even have to be a member! Just saying… so as I was saying before, lets try to get to around 17 (or more ;)) reviews and ill update by Tuesday! **

**And please, send me your ideas for the story. It will make me happy and I will give you free ice cream that may or may not be imaginary.**


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